Feeling Stuck in Midlife? How to Navigate Change When You Don’t Know What’s Next - #18

That slightly “off” feeling isn’t something you need to fix, it’s a starting place. We talk about this uncomfortable in-between place we sometimes feel when a former identity loosens, but your next chapter hasn’t fully come into focus yet. And we show how to move through it with steadiness and trust rather than panic. I walk through how the nervous system reacts to unfamiliar change, why you may be toggling between freeze and urgency, and simple regulation practices - breathwork, somatic check-ins, and EFT tapping - that teach your body it’s safe to explore.

We also go into the inner work of finding clarity. You’ll hear why thinking harder rarely helps. And how presence, not pressure, often reveals what your body already knows. I share three focused journal prompts to name what feels off without rushing to fix it, to stop forcing while clarity is forming beneath the surface, and to consider pausing decisions until you feel more resourced. Along the way, we cover why going it alone creates mental spin and how being witnessed - through grounded, non-hyped support - reflects you back to yourself and restores agency. If you’re feeling disconnected yet hopeful, this conversation offers a way forward: regulate first, listen second, decide third. The goal isn’t to return to who you were, it’s to trust the woman you’re becoming. 

✨ ✨ For those craving gentle structure, I’m opening a limited five-day Challenge with one short, personalized conversation per day to clarify your next step without pressure. If that resonates, email midlifeconfidencelab@gmail.com or DM @midlifeconfidencelab on Instagram. ✨ ✨ 

If this episode spoke to you share with a friend, follow us and leave a rating and review so more women can find their way through the in-between with calm and confidence.

Episodes mentioned:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/2517915/episodes/17895584-living-out-of-alignment-how-to-recognize-the-signs-and-realign-with-your-authentic-self-7

https://www.buzzsprout.com/2517915/episodes/17813132-embodying-your-highest-self-how-to-live-it-today-5

🦋 Would you like help walking through these steps, or with accountability, or deeper dives into these topics? Interested in learning more about working 1:1 with me to transform your life in your rediscovery? Schedule a free Discovery call with me here: https://stan.store/MidlifeConfidenceLab

🎧 Follow Midlife Confidence Lab on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. And share this episode with a friend who you would like to help.

✨ Find me on Instagram @MidlifeConfidenceLab

📌 Leave a review, then email us a screenshot at midlifeconfidencelab@gmail.com and we will send you a beautiful free digital journal to help you work through some of your thoughts and get some clarity about what you truly want out of your life.

🎵 Theme Music: Home by Vlad Gluschenko @vladest_art — Home

License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome And The Unsettling Quiet
• 2:05 Naming The In-Between
• 3:10 Nervous System 101
• 5:10 Why Thinking Harder Backfires
• 7:10 Support Over Self-Siloing
• 9:35 Journal Prompts For Clarity
• 11:10 Encouragement And Next Steps
• 11:48 Five-Day Challenge Invitation

Transcript

Kristin: 0:33

Welcome back to Midlife Confidence Lab, where we make boldness feel natural, decisions feel doable, and self-trust and confidence feel like home. I'm your host, Kristin Hamilton, helping midlife women who are in their what's next chapter of life. I am so glad you're here. There's a moment I want to talk about today, and if you're in it, you'll recognize it right away. It is quiet, it feels slightly unsettling, nothing is wrong, but nothing feels quite right either. You know you're not necessarily depressed, but you feel disconnected and low vibe. You might be having a really good time, and then something in the back of your mind just doesn't feel right. You're not in crisis, you're not falling apart, your life might even look pretty good on the outside. And yet something in you knows it's time for a shift. Not a dramatic blow-up, not a bold leap yet, just a sense that something is rearranging internally. Today we're talking about the in-between, the space so many women hit in midlife, and so few of us know how to navigate without panic or self-doubt or forcing a decision before we're ready. Here's what I see all the time, and maybe you'll recognize this in yourself. You start asking questions. Why doesn't this light me up anymore? Why am I hesitating when I used to push through? Why do I feel restless but also resistant? And because we live in a culture that rewards certainty and speed, your brain immediately jumps in with, oh my God, what's wrong with me? Or why can't I just decide already? Or why can't I go back to how things were, how I was? But this space, this in between, is not dysfunction, it's transition. And transition, as uncomfortable as it may be, is not meant to be rushed. Let's talk about the science behind why this feels so uncomfortable. When we're approaching change, even wanted change, the nervous system gets involved before the mind can catch up. Your brain's job is not to make you happy, it's to keep you alive. We have discussed the nervous system at great length in a few episodes. I'll link these in the show notes. But let's go over some of that so we can really understand what's happening in our bodies during this time. And when I said your brain's job is to keep you alive, I'm talking about systems that live in your brain. But these are the parts that innervate basically through your body, neck down through your body. These systems live in your brain, but they work down in the felt part of your body. The oldest part of our brain turns on when you get a stress response that is perceived as life-threatening, and you get the freeze response. So energy drains from your system and you become immobilized. Next is the fight or flight part. This is where you get anxious and you feel like you got to move. This is more of a mobilized stress response where your defenses come on because you perceive a threat. It's not a life-threatening threat, but it is a danger of some sort. In this case, the perceived danger is your thoughts that something is off and maybe needs to change. So when an old identity or role or way of living starts to loosen, your nervous system says, whoa, hold on, wait just a minute here. We like familiar. Familiar keeps us safe. And that is unfamiliar. And it can be scary, very unnerving to know that you need something to change before you're really able to even name that change. That's terrifying. I have felt it too. That's why this in-between often feels like overthinking, second guessing, low-grade anxiety, decision paralysis. Not because you're incapable, but because your system is kind of recalibrating. Nothing has gone wrong, but something is reorganizing. And your nervous system is just doing its job to keep you safe. So this is where we want to use some of the regulating exercises I've walked you through in past episodes, like breathing and somatic check-ins and EFT tapping and that kind of thing. Doing this while being among the in-between thoughts will help your body know that it is indeed safe for you to be expanding your thoughts and yourself. If you've been around the midlife confidence lab for any time at all, you know that I also want to bring in the spiritual perspective as well as the scientific, grounded practical spirituality. And this phase is an energetic threshold. Before clarity comes conscious, it arrives as a felt sense. You may not have the language yet, but your body already knows. And this is why trying to think your way out doesn't work. Clarity doesn't come from pressure, it comes from presence. And presence requires giving yourself space and time. And this year, my thoughts keep going back to how I know when it's time for change, even when I can't name what that change will be yet. I've had some significant moments in my life of change, and they varied in my level of involvement in them. Let me explain that. Times when I waited for confidence to arrive before I moved. But what I didn't realize in those moments was that my confidence wasn't necessarily missing. It's that I wasn't slowing down enough to actually listen to myself. And I don't mean in the cognitive sense. I was too busy trying to talk myself through something. And I ended up talking myself into circles because I had no clear direction for how to even listen to myself. I got so caught up in trying to reason my way through to a decision. I tried to smart my way through. And as I alluded to in last week's episode, that is rarely the right path for me, as much as I have tried and tried to force it. The in-between becomes painful not because it exists, but because we try to reason it out alone. When we stay stuck in our own heads, we often spin the same thoughts. We're looking for certainty that we can't access yet. We swing between wanting to force action and freezing completely. This is where women start doubting themselves, not because we're weak, but because we feel unsupported. We don't know how to navigate this kind of thing. Nobody taught us how to work through this level of uncertainty. Books can give us ideas if we can personalize the content to our specific situation and are disciplined enough to work through the outline steps. Some of us have phenomenal friendships, and these are incredibly important. But sometimes it's hard to bring up these types of conversations when we're concerned with how it's going to come across. And we're still trying to gain clarity and just aren't ready to express certain things to those who are part of our lives yet. What helps in this in-between isn't motivation. It's not discipline. It's being witnessed. It's talking things through out loud. It's accountability and acknowledgement of your own agency in your life. It's space to clarify without pressure to perform, or even make logical sense, or use reason. This is why the right kind of support feels grounding, not activating. You don't need to be fixed. You need to be reflected back to yourself. Because you do know the right path. Somewhere inside yourself, you do know. I want to give you a few journal prompts to sit with, maybe today, maybe later this week. I do think this type of reflection can help clarify where your thoughts might be heading. Take these slowly. The first one, what feels slightly off in my life right now? I want to name it without needing to fix it yet. Number two, if I trusted that clarity is forming beneath the surface, what would I stop forcing? And number three, what decision am I pressuring myself to make before I feel resourced? Remember when you do this journaling, no rush, no judgment, just honesty with yourself. I want you to know that if you are feeling this right now, you're not late, you're not broken, you're not behind, you are at a threshold, and there are so many places you can go from here. Let that be exciting and feel like an adventure. And if you aren't feeling this right now, it is still likely that you will be at some point. So knowing this and having awareness about it before it crosses your path can be oh so helpful. The in-between feels like a waiting room, but it doesn't have to. It's where we can really get honest with ourselves about our truth. For me, working through this in-between phase was so very challenging, but also so freeing and enlightening. I always knew I was this woman that I am now. I just took a little minute to get here. If you take anything from this episode, let it be this. Even if you feel lost right now, you are strong, you are capable, and you will come through the other side to live a life of freedom and confidence and joy. I believe this for you. And if you know something needs to change, but you're feeling stuck and don't want to navigate this part alone, I am very excited to be opening a small number of spots this month for a five-day challenge. It's not a course, it's not a group. It's very simple, one short focused and personalized conversation a day for five days. Talk through things in real time and support to clarify your next step, trust yourself and move forward with confidence. No pressure, no hype, just grounded support for a very real moment in your life. You'll know if this feels right for you. If it does feel aligned, we're just gonna keep it super personalized and simple. You can email me at midlifeconfidence lab at gmail.com or DM me on Instagram at midlifeconfidence lab. Let me know that you're interested in the five-day challenge and we'll go from there. If this episode resonated with you, please share it with another woman in your life. And until next time, stay curious and keep playing and experimenting in life. And remember, trust the woman you're becoming. She is done playing small. Choose bold, choose aligned, choose the life you want to live. Love you. Bye bye.